never to become

 

Although I stood by her, I knew we were never to become; you see, hard as I tried I could not succumb.  Looking back now I think I must be dumb; today I live life so fuckin’ numb. 

 

Tragedy was definitely ahead for us both, even if there was no such given oath; daunted was the love with all its growth; between us both there was no Hippocratic-oath.

 

Could have stood by her... my feelings for her...

 

Would have been a blur... an oath just slurs...

 

My blood runs cold, I can’t deny I have no heart; I am he the bible foretold; ignoring my presence would be smart.  Trust me, I cannot be controlled; since the beginning I’ve been an abstract art.

 

But... does she notice?  Does she stay away?!

 

Fangs pierce FEROCIOUS!  Can’t see, she’s the prey!

 

Where will my actions lead me?

 

Can’t she see, we’re not to be?

 

Sense a change in the air... though she’s gone today, I know my life will never be the same.  If I could change the past believe I swear... to her I would have gracefully given my name.

 

What will become of my dear friend?

 

Will I ever be able to make amends?

 

Though I know it’s not meant to be, to her I’ll always stand as HE.  Will we ever end up together?  Nay, for I come from the nether.

 

What will become of my dear friend...

 

Do I yet know... we are never to become.

 

   



UNRECOGNIZABLE

 

Looking into a mirror, I see a man staring back that is unrecognizable; death screams to me from within my soul; its hint is advisable.  The laughter I hear from those standing around me is quite sizeable; to think hope will spring from a well of happiness is unrealizable.

 

So, here I stand alone once again.

 

Again, I groan from this inner pain.

 

Night falls; the moon shines her faithless kiss upon my head; instead of living I remain forever part of the undead.  Rotting, the worms eat at the brain as I sit tangled... in chains.  The ax cannot cut to the root or the grain; I seem to perish in a hell, where mercy is abstain. 

 

I cannot tell what I feel.

 

There is no God to make an appeal.

 

Blood in my veins dry out as the heat of this earth scorch; a thimbleful of water is what I need to revive this evil.  Will someone come by this uncertain man and pass the torch; nothing in your passing, I promise, will see love or civil. 

 

I am unrecognizable to myself.

 

All that’s left is himself.

 

   

broken the nights

 

Lies abound these days like rats feasting in a ship of old;

no longer are governments sincere as they stand and preach.

Laws and intrusions imposed upon us are meant to bring the cold;

Delicacies we are, served up to monsters that come and leech!

 

Deceit struts as these day walkers in suits have broken the nights;

they eat the young as wolves gathered to a wounded prey.

rather regimes that lie to the face, than a silent tyrant killing lights;

always question, always resist... never forget to pray.

 

You set up our youth to fall; the ages cry for the dreary.

The evil stand proud and tall; fattened souls don’t cry for the weary.

 

This new way of life sickens mothers who bore freedom fighters;

warriors dead whom to us have given the peace of unbroken nights.

anew the revolution must be birthed from untamed writers,

who care not if ridiculed; or die at the hand of those that have broken the nights.

 

Chains and bonds, hidden oppressions – do not forget over taxed possessions;

still, jobs go without raises while fucken fat cats live in luxury.

Foreclosed homes, unwarranted wars, acquisitions without depositions;

teach... actions speak - hate and malice is the way to go to be wealthy.

 

For our own good privacies must be handed – to ensure the way;

looking back I remember many whose empires said the same.

Just like us, they of old eons ago gave away without delay;

if we could hear their howls, we’d want no part in this tactical fame.

 

Look further my brethren, for I have seen ahead... yes, I have even seen the dead;

those that will suffer greatly at the hand of the dreaded damned.

If the keepers of the night remain quiet, destiny will only have what was said;

wise up you of new, fight against those that say and command!

 

 



MORNING BROKE

 

Like a ray of sunshine that is your name, so thou burns through my hidden coffin;

no dark of the night can repel the beauty that is to me your callin’. 

A Vampyre in the prowl so is your fragrance to me – the essence of stalkin’. 

Here I stand to you as a sacrifice – a lamb given to the takin’.

 

A song tunes in my ear as the Morning Broke...

 

...strong enough this calling is to break the yoke.

 

From the tomb I awake to hear a voice quickening me;

whom, I say is this that comes to interrupt me!? 

For many years I have laid here, will you just let me be! 

No longer do I care to come up from the depths to acknowledge or see. 

Continue on thou journey and let this man of old be of no glee.

 

Looking upon this face of light, fear grips the loneliness in my bosom. 

No matter how much I try to fight, I cannot escape the caress from this unspoken woman.

 

A new tide has come upon the shores...

 

...black bird can’t deny the feeling of soars!

 

No longer can I continue to walk in a lie, can’t cloke;
for to me, this is the truth that stands today... Morning Broke.

 

 



SLOWLY LOSE MYSELF

 

The more I drank and snorted the more I slowly lose myself; more I ran from you the farther I got from what was oneself.  Most look at me today, and they know that I am not himself; how can a boy born into pain ever come to be yourself?

 

Up to heaven I look for an answer or reply that will save my mind; yet I continue in a path that is so dark and still so freaking blind.  Nightly I look up to the moon and wonder if I will ever come to find... that soul that lifts up those that count themselves as part of them called mankind.

 

Today I know I waste away in my loneliness as I slowly lose myself.  Shall I be like those perverts that always seem to shine and always assert oneself?

 

I cannot...

 

...though I sought.

 

Soon I’ll stand at the abyss looking down at what I have baited; there is no denying that this is what my life has always created!  There will be no tears as I look down at what I have always awaited... consider this writ as the only statement that I have given and translated.

 

Slowly today I lose myself...

 

...still tonight I lower oneself.

 



TO FATHER

 

How can a man that robs a child come to see?

All I know is that you are a faggot father;

a man that never let me live or grow to be.

Why did you even come to this earth to bother?

 

You brought me up to be desolate and in pain;

exorcising the demons I have been since I knew,

you set me up to be to Mike a literal Cain;

today we both stand as we are alive – but slew.

 

Keep telling yourself you were a dad!

I hope you burn in HELL you DICK!

All you did is not what makes me sad;

today your smile shows that you’re a trick!

 

I hate the very fucken sight of your face;

I pray -- wish you would just efen die!

Forever I’ll defy your way of life; your pace;

the day you leave; I swear I’ll efen sigh.

 

Can’t remember you kissing me goodbye or goodnight;

now seeing me makes you sick to your stomach?

Today I am a man of the dark; a man of the night;

yet, there is nothing in me that goes out to covet.

 

You fucken fuck, I hope you die alone and in hurt;

your mental pickets were more than I needed,

your verbal abuse was always short and of no sport;

am I supposed today to feel so cheated?

 

Sometimes I think that you will never understand;

but something tells me apart we will be happy.

Because of you today I live in wonderland;

what I say today is not meant to make you angry,

it is destined to show that you killed me – you slammed!

 

Know this, my kids won’t be at your fucken funeral – you dick!

I know if today I had, you would take what you didn’t even earn.

All through life you have thought to be cool or even slick;

my thoughts of you are an open book, yes a liberal scorn!

 

To Father I have nothing left to say;

he has taken the ability to even pray.

Though he thinks I have become dead – the prey;

I must assure I am he that will forever stay.

 

 



TO MOTHER

Was afraid of the night until you came, to save;

You came and poured until there was nothing in you left,

without counting yourself you came and always gave;

today I feel as the one that came and was the theft!

 

A lost kid was I in a world full of mystery;

little did I know that this was just the start,

little did I know, from there came a great misery;

still you kept true to life and true to your heart.

 

You always taught me right from my wrong;

though I must say I constantly sought out the bad,

you tried to show me how to be strong;

nothing I have done is this world has made you glad;

still you remained as sweet as a song,

you had the hope in me that I would be a grad.

 

Sorry for the disappointment, never meant to hurt you;

in my life you were never the cause or reason for hurt.

Everyone was downin’ me -- you came to take away the blue;

Momma, you’re the Queen of my life,

for you I will give my shirt.

 

Mother, because of you today I stand and shine;

in a world so dark that only takes and fakes,

Momma I must say, you are the root and the vine;

you stood as the only thing that never breaks.

 

If I have left something unsaid, please forgive my ignorance;

for forever I will be in debt to mother.

Till this day, you’ll always remain as the one – the only fragrance.

Until today you are the only – my Mother.

 

 

 

 

 



 

WEARY WAY-WARD WANDERER

 

Me, I’m just a WEARY WAY-WARD WANDERER, seeking only to give into my delights and lust!

Unlike my brethren, I walk only by what is in my sights... I walk to what is not at all just.

 

He I am... the WEARY WAY-WARD WANDERER who from old has raised to give light to my name.

From times before you I have came... I have come and gave a claim to my fame!

Do not try to defame what has always been the same!

For centuries God himself has not been able to tame the flame that rises from insane.

 

Alone I am HE, the WEARY WAY-WARD WANDERER that conjures for you... so that your soul I may conquer & slew.

Knowledge I have that your view of me is slant and skew; not to worry my dear – soon I will show who is true screwed!

 

You know me by many names... the Piper, the Man or even Lucifer... those closest to me know my name as the simple

WEARY WAY-WARD WANDERER.

 

 



SLIP THIS SKIN

It’s been so long since I last saw my reflection; confusion has kept me far from what mom and dad said was perfection. 

My inner yearnings have led me down a path of defection; afraid I have lived my life scared of true detection.  Always I knew what was supposed to be the direction; yet, this train of thought put me in a state of complexion.  Judge me not my loved ones, for all I want is your acceptance and affection.

 

If I could I would slip this skin; just to see an honest grin.  Will I ever come to the end... or win?  Or will I always be seen as the boy that lives in sin?  Crying I lie in bed alone drinking my gin; thinking of what could be or what would have been.

 

Hope leads me to believe one day I’ll have a real connection; one that will meet all my wanting predilections -- one that will be seen without objection or inspection... yet, in me causing an infection that will see no need for correction.  No... no dissections, or ejections, or projections of senseless obligations.

 

Will you help me slip this skin?  Or will you just come on in, and allow me to not have to be the man of tin?  For a heart I have, though it may be weak and thin.  Don’t listen to those that say I belong in the loony-bin; come within and see for yourself what lies therein.  I promise I will not disappoint if only you can get passed the chagrin. 

 

I do not want to waste away in the corruption of my infection; please, come and save me from this intolerable inflection that stands as an insurrection.  This hatred that greets me at every intersection kills me to the point of no resurrection. 

 

If I could I would slip this skin, not because I want to, but because I’m tired of taking it on the chin.  Don’t see this writ as a boy weeping with his violin; instead see your mocking and silent bullying as the ORIGINAL SIN! 

I WOULD... I WANT TO SLIP THIS SKIN...

 

 

DON'T CARE

 

I was sitting when in my sentenced chair,

came electricity that killed my prayer!

must admit, never gave an efen flare;

but this shock in my soul I could not bear!

 

Came from planet dare...

still you do not care!

 

Despite my flair which is so rare,

you walk the square so unaware!

In the shadows I lurk, there I swear;

to kill, purge and tear!

 

Still I don’t care...

always I will forever dare!

 

All those that cross my pass looking fair,

I’ll consume as they walk into my snare!

don’t care if they scream in my glare;

for I come not to spare but scare!

 

So, tonight watch your back, for I am there;

watching with my everlasting lustful stare!

Be not afraid, I’m your immoral affair!

 

Yes... I don’t care.

 

Yes... you I’ll wear.

 

Yes... I am despair.

 

And... I DON’T CARE!

 

 



EATING MY INSIDES

 

In this Universe made to last, I perish from lack of light; this vast galaxy warms worlds here and beyond, from me it spares no night. 

Alone and afraid I stand looking down at the abyss that rises to eat what is inside of me; it comes up like a volcano to destroy what I am and what I’ll never be.

I long to feel my heart burst open wide, till nothing of I remains; nothing excites me like death knocking at my door; is that insane?

Go ahead and judge jurors and priests; the day of reckoning comes, where I’ll stand at side-court!  Yes, my madness is like nothing you’ve ever seen; yes, it is because I love to-snort!  Wait... where am I... seems I’ve lost me place in the ranting of me mind; oh my dear, it looks like I am walking crazy and … again, blind! 

Though, this is no reason to stop where I was going, I won’t thwart; yet, I know there are those out there that want to extort!  Not to worry... I’ll just call on those sitting on the high-court; to them I will give no reason... no fucken report!

What am I doing?

Where am I going?

This makes no sense anymore; I just want to-gore, in that which I efen adore!  Within these walls I find myself in bore; none will understand my minds great-war.  There is nothing left to implore, though there is much left for me to explore!  Upon these lines you will hear my soul roar; just listen and you’ll be able to come ashore!  Don’t pay attention to the décor; for there is where all come to plead for more.  I am he that comes from before; he that all hate and abhor!  Most can’t help but to love... can’t ignore!

What the fuck... something is eating my insides!

In my world... nothing at all ever coincides.

 

 

 



TELL ME WHAT TO DO

 

At times I wish I lived like you;

who will carry me through the knew?

Will you ever know as I flew;

never, ever as I did or do!

 

Lost I live in my efen mind;

you try too hard to efen find!

No, I cannot live so aligned;

I can’t be part of your mankind!

 

Tell me what to do!

So I can be like you!

 

Will you have faith in me?

Do they have faith in thee?

Gone from me is my glee;

those who see quickly flee!

 

So... please tell me what to do?

 

Tell me... what won’t make you chew.

 

Seems like everything makes you jump!

Cause I’m quiet, makes me no chump!

You think I live in a big slump;

in my world, I am the efen Trump!

 

So fuck you!

You have no CLUE!

 

TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!