FAMILIAR GROUND

Sit contemplating my surroundings; find myself lost – it’s confounding to live with one foot in the air, one foot on the ground.  All seems to be fair; suddenly I start to drown.  Though I am nervous I know this familiar sound; seems I must have drifted to familiar ground. 

Rough night has dawned upon me again; worms once more dine upon my decaying brain.  Downer always seems to eat me alive; wonder if tonight is another blessing I will survive? 

Monsters screaming in the night know my name; by now this routine to me should feel lame.  Yet, I persist to visit the valley of darkness; my reward is a week full hardship and sadness.  Find myself wondering where is my mind?  My dear reader I know I’m walking blind. 

It’s familiar ground...

Don’t want to be found.

Hands are tied to the bed post; nurses continually enter to assure they’re my host.  A lunatic screams in the hall!  Is there someone beyond the wall?  A lullaby vibrates my bed; must be the ranting in my head. 

Will I die in familiar ground?

Will I ever hate this sound?

With one foot on the air I sing; with one foot on the ground I cry.  Never will I be free from this thing; this is where I come to die.

Life feels so undefined.

Life in me is disinclined.

With one foot in the air I walk familiar ground; with one foot on the ground I inevitably drown.  Am left alone in both worlds; choice must be made where to live.  In the valley of death I can’t feel unfurled; guess I choose intoxication – for to me it will never misgive.

Walking I head again tonight toward familiar ground.

HAVE SEEN MY FUTURE

Locked up in a brain that never ceases to hurt; walking I drag myself through thoughts of filth and dirt.  Incarcerated wars rage on as I shoot my gun; exonerated I live in a sky that has no sun.  Only justice in me is the notion of being a son; still continuing on I pace this road alone – at my side none.

Asylums in my head institutionalize the boy I once was; no one said I must watch out for the fine print clause.  With my feet on the ground I strain with no surprise; can’t deny snorting allows me the strength to open my eyes.  Many love to judge from their fiery seats of hell; don’t worry – one day the real Judge will come and ring your bell. 

Released and incorporated brought devastation to the innocence I once was; unbeknownst to my soul was I to the danger that quickly draws.  Running I wanted to hide from the monsters that called out to me; alone in world I have to live without having the ability to be – without sight I have to walk a dark road without being able to see.  This has been the card dealt to me; a card that only assures a life full of sorrow and no glee.  Yet, I will survive this treacherous path which has been set by thee; know that my strength shall rise from the ashes without regret – trouble-free!

Though I live a life which has been incriminated there is no doubt that I will not be eliminated.  Having sailed through the roughest seas I have seen what comes and is to be.  Some may want my head in a silver platter, but trust me – even if I died like John the Baptist it shall not matter!  So, go – go and sing your praises of judgment and hate, for in my days shall you see me succeeding in the hand of fate.

Have seen my future... and it holds the key.

Have seen my future... and it cries out to me.

Forever shall I thrive under the mighty hand that protects; all that wish me ill shall be the ones I will reject.  Your bitter ends shall be something I will expect... for I have seen my future and it comes with great effects!

FEET IN THE AIR

Sparking a joint I walked across the deep dark Bering Sea;

feet did not get wet as I strolled along this path worry free. 

Fierce creatures of the bottomless sea looked up at me;

laughing I exhaled a cloud from this wicked-ass-crip-tree.

Eyes red as sin I continued my stride toward a beached whale; though my pace seemed fast I approached slow as a fucken snail.

Gasping for air she bellowed out a loud deafening hail;

she asked if I could help her escape this forsaken sandy jail.

Pushing hard upon her nose gave way to a shrieking yelp;

mind raced off wondering if I should prolong any help.

Luckily from the distance I saw Franklin Roosevelt;

I asked him if he would mind moving this mammoth sized welt;

unfortunately he had to go meet Eleanor Roosevelt!

Jim Morrison sauntered by and said I was killing his buzz;

paranoid he looked around to see if there was any fuzz.

Reluctantly he agreed to push – that’s how the day ‘twas.

Setting the whale free we smoked a joint – he swore I was his cuz.

As Jim walked away I noticed his feet were naked and bare;

watching his freedom I decided on my feet nothing wear.

From that day forward I must be honest and to you swear,

that my greatest joy comes when I walk with my feet in the air.

THERE'S A PAIN

Sitting in a car I watch the scenery go by; there’s a place in my heart where all I could remember are lies.  A reel plays continually in my mind; I try hard to stop it from going into rewind. 

Images send me twirling into desperation; crying I awake from my dreams in hibernation – wish I could find some kind of sedation that’ll numb away all this fucking damnation.  Tears cannot drown all the years of infiltration; words mocking me scream from the outer walls their constant condemnation.  At times I see a light at the end of the tunnel - I suffer reaching her because of my expected hesitation.  At night a nightingale sings to me of the freedoms seen beyond the walls of isolation – “come, come to us and live amoung the stars freed in the spectrum of unification.”  Still - I cannot arrive to those seen in the heavens singing of their autonomy and sanctification.

There’s a pain that jolts me into duress; there’s a sting in my heart which I cannot suppress.  Wanting I seek for a field of flowers – yet I find no success.  Long seems to me the walk reaching toward peace and progress; yet, who am I to make my abode in such a state of tranquility and caress?  Must admit that in me lives the want to sing and bless; nevertheless there is a darkness that strides to take and stress.

There’s a pain that drives me insane - an ax that cuts me down to the grain.  Do not know how much time I have left to remain; only pray that soon I may be able to break this chain.  God knows I cannot withstand this mental drain; soon there will be nothing left to explain.  Walking this world I am bearing the mark of Cain; time comes to an end as I stand in this dreadful hurricane. 

There’s a pain in my soul... an unrelenting pain.

There’s a pain in my soul... pass the mirror – time has come to anesthetize this brain.