SCARE MYSELF

There’s a constant reminder of who I used to be; a boy lost in a wilderness without a soul to see.  Once innocence was my friend; now I’m just a man whose spirit is in constant distend.  My mind is stranded out there; in this place it seems I’m in a continual impair. 

Masturbation has lost its delight; self exaltation lends itself to pure blight.  A demon in the hall calls my name; I render myself to him – there is no one left to blame.  This thing is taking me apart; will there ever be a cure for my bleeding heart? 

A monster I become at night; monstrous fucken reminder that slumbers at morning’s light.  Have forgotten the taste of my tears; this insanity has caused me to lose my fears.  Embrace has lost its touch; this loss has made drugs my ever-lasting crutch!  Looking back I see that boy who has no sight; because of this reason my days have become slight. 

Nights-a-reaching, I’m starting to Scare Myself...

Nights-a-reaching, he’s starting to scare himself!

Back then I couldn’t do the things I do now; seems to my childhood I must scream – ciao!  Have always wanted something I could never have; will someone give me what I can’t ever have?

The ringing in my ears drives me insane; the screaming in my ears makes me Able’s Cain!  Love always was the one to show me how; back then I didn’t know how to give it its endow.  In this place I’ve grown to such a state of shame; it seems to be the place where I grow forever lame!  Self pleasuring has taken over my body; thus the reason for my glorious disembody. 

Starting to Scare Myself...

Preparing to be myself.

You always were the one to show me where?  With you dear Satan I wish I’d never had an affair!

Here alone I stand... scaring myself!

Here am I; always scaring thyself!