WHISPER OF A THRILL

A voice sang out in the wilderness; her song aroused in me a sense for lustfulness.  Love was in the air that day; all was possible as she gave to me without delay.  Life for once had rang out loud for me to hear; finally I thought I would be deemed dear!  In me was now a subsiding fear as I watched LOVE’s eyes staring back – here! 

Laughter is the sound in a whisper of a thrill.

For me LOVE traveled across the plains and hills.

Oh Holy God, hast thou looked down upon this wretched man with pity and mercy?  Oh Lucifer, will thou now back down with all your hateful sorcery?  Love has finally visited a mere slave; for such reason I find it right to thus be brave!  Her touch is gentle and pure; upon my skin I can feel LOVE’s attracting lure.  Her kiss upon my neck is sweet and soft; moist sensations send me racing aloft!  Lips upon lips dine and covet; this craving, yearning – moaning I scream LOVE-IT!!!

Bring to me my whisper of a thrill...

Lightning tonight strikes upon my lonely hill.

Suddenly dear God... why do I feel a freezing chill! 

Where oh where is my whisper of a thrill!

Cold hands travel up my spine; trapped I feel a web growing like a vine.  Why oh why did not I see the sign?  This tightening grip is not benign... venom shoots into my soul, disabled I must consign.

Oh my LOVE, why hast thou brought upon me this ill?  Oh dear God, free me from this breeze – from LOVE’s evil will. 

Once I believed the warmth I felt was a whisper of a thrill.

Tonight I die as I watch myself overshadowed by the whisper of a chill.  My voice weeps in an utter shrill; for she comes to instill death... an end fulfill.

Crying I give into this bitter freeze; give into LOVE’s whisper of a chill.

WHISPER OF A CHILL

Death looms over the horizon; it was love who set me a-blazon.  Foolish was I to believe in a treacherous myth; living in this matrix I now run from Agent Smith.  The Oracle had said I was to rely in LOVE’S eyes; trusting with my heart I now journey the path of ties.  Once upon a time her voice was the whisper of a thrill; tonight I’m trapped in her web with the whisper of a chill.  My bones are cracking under the grip of love; it seems in her alter I’ll die as thee sacrificed dove.

Her touch was gentle and pure at first; pain grew in time as she forced her nails unto my flesh.  With this pain I shall forever be cursed; her fangs sting upon my neck as they tear and thresh.

Yesterday I was warmed with the whisper of a thrill.

Tonight I freeze with the whisper of a chill.

My body grows cold; will I ever be blessed with someone to hold?  Many say I must be strong and bold; this ache only drives me toward a quitting fold.  Dying I lie in wait as my heart continually lies to itself of my due fate.  There is no changing destiny’s date; she is the ever reason for my outstanding hate.  Love placed little on my plate; starving I willing became her wretched bait. 

Will I always be sitting atop this alter of perdition?  My soul has no strength left for a new expedition.  All ambition has been laid to her acquisition; upon a silver platter to love I have given all permission.  This cancer killing me will never see remission; abolition has always been love’s lustful mission.  Yes, at her charge I lay my current condition; eternity will perpetually hear from me this admission.  Ignoring her has been my omission; loving her in me is a natural born intuition.  Though love kills without intermission, to her I am bound without a single premonition.

Today I felt a whisper of a thrill...

Dying this night I feel a whisper of a chill.

Love comes and takes without reproach; feeling her rouse shall leave us all dead upon her approach.  Forsake her calling of a thrill; for if you do thou shall survive the whisper of a chill.

THE GOD IN ME

Though I walk through this valley of death, still there lives in me a need to forgive.  This deed comes not from within, but through Him that first fashioned it right to give. 

Crying I have been left to suffer; wishing good upon them has never been the tougher.  People in my life come and go; love has always been my ulterior goal.  Giving from my soul has been a priority; tearing me apart has always been the majority.  Sin upon sin they lay upon me; I’ll spin and spin with insanity until the God in me is seen.  Skin upon skin is slashed before thee; in peace I sleep knowing my conscious is clean.

Yes, the God in me purifies.

Yes, the God in me identifies.

Widows weep for their lost; children starve and shiver in the frost.  To them my sympathy will always be given; with pure empathy we deem predators truly forgiven.  Liberation is set before us on a table; salvation forever shall be our rightful foundation – unbreakable... stable.  A man without a home finds solace in a cardboard box; his consolation you see depends not on whether he wears socks. 

This freedom they find is in common with mine; for it shall never be found in a man-made shrine.  It can only be felt if you’re grafted in the vine; an attribute given which can only refine.  So, you see my dear friend – your forgiveness in not needed.  Go, continue to falsely befriend – for your punishment shall not be impeded.  Always remember this; the God in me will always cherish you.  Do not forget this; when you decided to hurt me, it was the God in me you slew!

Yes, the God in me sits as President.

Yes, there is a devil in me who claims to be Vice-President!

A war rages on between good and evil; so dark the skies become it is almost medieval.  From this fight within me there is no retrieval; for this battle in me has been long and primeval.

Make way for the next in line; for the devil in me is set on making his stature shine!

THE DEVIL IN ME

The wind is against my cloud; like a lightning, my sin to your ear is loud.  Cannot continue to walk dressed in this velvet shroud; the scarlet letter I wear keeps me humbled and bowed.

The devil in me is he who kills me daily; from this iniquity I cannot remain safe – nay, not even within my bailey.  Like a boy left in the cold I stand alone; how was I supposed to know what to condone?  Greedy hands took without respect; now the evil in me has left no one to suspect.  This malice belongs to me today; it causes many to run away from me in dismay.  It is this demon in me that takes me astray; from this path of lust and sin I cannot stray.  Like a worm dining at a rotting corpse, so do I eat off the flesh of those who come nigh to me.  There is no doubt this mind-set warps; yet believe me when I say no harm I meant to thee.  A need to feed is fueled by your presence before my eyes; this need and deed is dueled when your mortality is consumed by my guise.

Yes, the devil in me kills my soul.

Yes, this level of wickedness takes its toll.

Stood with no hope; nowadays I have learned to cope.  Tight around my neck is this rope; through this dark tunnel I get by in a constant grope – for eyes cannot see what is before me.  Candy C comes by again; she promises all things will be for my gain.  Long are my nights with cocaine; for she is the one who tells the devil in me to slain.  Filled am I with the need to kill; kill the boy that once stood quiet and still.  Yes, the devil in me wishes to lay my spirit to waste; left am I to desecrate my sanity with a forcing haste!  This drip in my mouth is the only taste; without love I rest guilty – without chaste.

Yes, the devil in me kills the boy softly.

Yes, this devil in me causes to sin broadly.

Don’t fret when I come nigh my dear; for to you my words are made to hear.  Besides, killing you my dear was not destined to be here... follow me if you wish – for I promise my bite of death you’ll forever endear!

FORGIVE SOMEONE

There is a gift in me which I can so easily bestow; breaking my heart is the only way this gift you’ll know.  For you see, even if thy pain brings to me a great blow, my ability to forgive someone is never slow.  The skies may rain fire upon my soul because of one word; yet, forever forgiving I stand whole – yes I know this is absurd.

Hard it may seem to forgive someone; an attribute of God it is to absolve anyone – and yet like HIM I have found it in me to pardon everyone.

If my heart is broken into pieces, it shall always show to you its release.  If your hate for me increases, my soul shows with pride how it cannot decrease.  Power of that kind my spirit would not give to man; power of that kind over me I will forever ban!  Do to me what you will; forgiveness to thou shall I instill. 

Yet there is something that troubles my mind; a curse that for centuries has kept me blind.  You see, to you my friend I can extend this love; yet for myself there is abhorrence and disgust.  Forgiving me I find myself barren-of, for in me lives unholy sin and lust!  A sin so great am I; an abomination which is shunned by every eye.

“A monster is I who can forgive someone”

“A monster is I who can’t forgive just one”

Imprisoned I will remain in my dungeon of guilt; enslaved to a Whisperer whose tune makes me wilt.  It is the beast of my domain that drives me insane; a creature of the night I become, my heart racked with unrelenting pain.  Yet, none weeps for the anguish my heart feels; except for the mother at my side whose tears she never conceals.

The Jekyll in me finds it easy to forgive someone; the Hyde in me cannot find the will to forgive just one...

...a battle rages inside of me.  Sure the wages will be hard to see – for forgiving oneself is the one thing I cannot foresee.

FORGIVE ONESELF

Looking back I see a tab that cannot be paid; for much has been the suffering I have laid.  My face can feel the cold night’s breeze; for centuries my soul has felt death’s freeze.   Those who have trampled my spirit I can easily forgive; yet this mercy upon myself I could never give! 

“To forgive someone lives within himself” they say.

“May God grant him the will to forgive oneself” they pray...

Do not look upon this madman with pity I-beg; for my own induced anguish and pain I would not renege.  My sorrow is the light upon my feet; this cross is mine to bear – mine is this throne’s seat.  Though demons lurk in the shadows after me, my soul belongs to the ALMIGHTY HE.  Do not be quick to cast thine stone upon me – allow my insanity the ability to just be!  Do you not have the gift to see?  Can you not understand my life lacks your glee!  To forgive someone is easy for me; to forgive oneself is much harder than to forgive thee!

Dark are the days hours upon my bed; within the walls of my mind I see the dead.  Hell is not where I am being led; for it has forever lived inside my head!  Walking I live amoung those called the undead; cursed to see, hear and quench with dread.

A piano softly plays in the asylum; devil strikes his tune for my mourning joy.  In my journey I shall pay all the malum; like a puppet to his music my hands I will employ. 

“Write about your tears” his piano gently plays...

“Write about your childhood fears” his piano softly says.  “For they all want to stare – delighting in what they hear!  Forget forgiving thyself my dear, for thou are my enslaved writer for all your living years!”

My pleas go out to you my friends; do not forsake this lunatic within the wall.  To you I beg my friends; do not leave me to this lunacy – screaming in the hall!

Rotting away I can forgive your abandonment my friends... only wish I had the power to forgive oneself – to make amends.

PRECIPICE OF LIFE

Those who come nigh to me believe I journey down the blessedness of life.  Yet unbeknownst to them my path embarks toward the precipice of life.  My smiles are set in front of them to spare them from my shame.  Mine is the pain and agony to which I carry; one which to no one I wish the same.  Nevertheless they judge me as evil and horrid, not knowing that life to me has been cruel and torrid. 

Why must they that walk the light be so quick to cast their stones?  Why must they that sing to the light be set against breaking my bones?  Do they not see that a gentle monster is I?  Why must they scream at me to take off and fly? 

Terror falls upon me every night; tears swelling in the eyes take away my sight.  Do they not know a precipice of life I walk?  Why must I continually be the prey they stalk?  Yes, a creature of the undead is I; nevertheless to thou I mean no harm.  Yes, a pale Vampyre is I; nonetheless with my actions I meant to cause no alarm. 

This precipice of life leads to no end.

This precipice of life will eventually offend.

Why are they who call upon God always the first to bring ill contend?  If to their ways I disagree, I know my fear is that they my body will apprehend. 

Yet, they do not know that Jesus is a brother of mine; for he too walked amoung the dead.  In us the undead His love will forever shine; for our shame to Him was never a dread. 

Go; continue to think that because you say his name you are safe. 

Go; for very soon you will feel the wrath of my fangs making you unsafe!

A Vampyre is I and forever I shall walk a precipice of death; for I have been deemed this generations flood.  A Vampyre is I and I shall suck your very last breath; for I know that life is found in the blood!

PRECIPICE OF DEATH

My soul is drenched with sorrow from my cries under the midnight’s moon.  When wilt thou oh merciful death come; shall it be near soon?  God has charged me to walk a precipice of death; my aching heart has left me without breath.  Tears in the rain belong to those who have suffered in my pain.  My pleas to God have gone unheard - in vain.  Together we embrace this road of despair as the children of the night.  To us has been laid a snare; traps set by the children of the light.  This precipice eats away at my mind like the worms in the hall.  Without exodus I am forever doomed to live within this wall. 

Friends come and go as time slowly slips from my grasp.  Trends fade away as from reality I lose my clasp.  Again I stand alone in this precipice of death; forever condemned by those who feed to me this meth.  Days are spent hiding from the burning sun; eternity has cursed me to be called twilight’s son.  When shall this man of the undead see the skies of blue?  Shall thou tardy longer oh death; are the rumors true?  Will thou pardon be estranged from me?  This precipice of death, is this all that’s meant to be?

Darkness visits with me; sweet is her voice as she swears the existence of a key.  A key that shall forever set me free... a key that only love can see.

Yet, here I remain again walking my precipice of death. 

Yet, here I remain again down to my very last breath.

Death oh thou merciful death, why is your hate set against my coming?  Let your rest come fast upon me so that I may feel your numbing!

My spirit no longer wants to be part of this God forsaken world; come thou merciful death and send my mind into a whirl.  End my bitterness; come and end my walk in life’s emptiness. 

My feet tire from its path down the precipice of death. 

Yes, my legs have given out from under me in this precipice of death...

Conclude my way of life oh death; confront thou me in my precipice of death!   

WANT EVOLUTION

People always want evolution; running to and fro causes dangerous occlusion.  “Holier than thou” attitudes lend themselves out for seclusion!  If it was up to me you’ll all stand in line for execution! 

Vipers walk the earth spreading their venomous infections.   Their dogmatic declarations make me dive into everlasting acclimations!  What you need is reformation; a constant giving over into fornication.  My words crack your solid foundations; my writs possess you as pure incantations!  My state of deprivation brings you to frustration... don’t worry my dear, my revolution shall bring to you real evolution!

You want evolution?

My scripts are the solution!

There is no complication; forget thou old communication – for here cometh the writer with his exaltation.  His celebration shall be your defamation; the reason you’ll take to the streets with humiliation!  The Piper that pipes a tune is I; my music shall need no translation – for in my debauchery you shall forever more hunger with starvation!  Screaming you will wish for damnation; none shall hear your pleas and exhalation.  The iron fist shall be my domination until I see your demised extermination.  All shall smell your rotting stagnation; eyes shall see your constant deterioration.  From my grip there is no amputation; nevertheless my words shall keep you in fascination.

You still want evolution?

Hard you’ll feel my revolution!

Your soul shall sing my indoctrination; your hands shall caress your body with pure excitation – as I stand watching in you my ingenious incarnation! 

Beware of the Piper that pipes his tune; for all shall feel the wrath of my inclination!

Here comes evolution...

Here comes “I AM”; THE GIVER OF REVOLUTION!

WANT EVOLUTION

You live in constant delusion; your mind is dazed with confusion!  Don’t fret my puppets, for here comes your solution.  This piper fills the air with his pollution; this writer’s monster grows as you want revolution.  The Whisperer gives to him the words of diffusion; preparing yours souls to give into this evolution!  Down with your walls; for I bring to you your transfusion.

Your surrender to me shall be quite an execution; to you there is no further conclusion -- call me Master Lucian!   My readers to me shall offer exclusion; my writs shall be my overpowering dilution!  With me there shall be no prosecution; alone you’ll stand as I sing my persecution!

You want revolution...

Enjoy my evolution!

Feed your hungry hearts with my infusion; ecstasy shall be to you my illusion.  Call me your god; in my everlasting power you’ll remain without any absolution.  You’ll burn with my scripts electrocution; of this there shall be no resolution!  It’s time for my retribution; my Musing will be the one to bring attribution. 

You want revolution...

Enjoy your evolution!

Be sure of this one thing; from my hands there is no restitution.  Your ears to me shall be your donation and contribution; eyes readily given toward an evil institution!  Sing with me my puppets; sing the freedom of revolution... your constant inclusion.

There is no solution...

Come toward my revolution!

Let’s us come together with holy fusion; do not make me come with fury and intrusion!  Lust my little ones to the infection; laugh and play to my continual infiltration! 

I’m your revolution!

SCARING YOU

As I sleep next to you I watch; shortly I’ll need a hit of scotch.  Seems today I can do the things I couldn’t do then; as I stare at you I feel the urge to write in pen. 

You awake at night and see; don’t be frightened at the monster who wants to be.  You recall the taste of my lip; a taste that drives you to strip.  Watching your breathing at night makes me remember; damn, of your state I was once a member.  In the days of old I was once a prince; of this one thing you I didn’t have to convince.  Don’t be frightened my dear; don’t let the best of you be taken by fear.  A monster shadowing your soul now you see; yet I implore you to wait – leave him be.

Scaring you I am...

Scaring you I damn.

What takes me apart is not you; just the bad in me that slowly subdues.  There is no doubt that to you good is due; nevertheless this is the only thing I cannot do!  The devil in me takes me apart; pray to God that you will never impart!  You can’t make this go away; from all my evil you will never sway.  Let me be something of what I never own; don’t allow me to become part of those you disown! 

Tell me!

Help me!

Though I’m scaring myself I still belong to thee; though I’m preparing myself I still want to be.  Your breathe at night gives me a chill; there once was day that I had that blessed thrill.  To the undead I do belong my dear; don’t deny me the need to be queer.  Your body I will consume; to your soul I will be thee lieu! 

Knowing I stand scaring you!

Knowing I embrace scaring you...

God Himself will not save you from this night; all his angels possess no fucken might – as I stand as your everlasting fright... scaring you; for this very hour you are the one my mouth will spew!

SCARE MYSELF

There’s a constant reminder of who I used to be; a boy lost in a wilderness without a soul to see.  Once innocence was my friend; now I’m just a man whose spirit is in constant distend.  My mind is stranded out there; in this place it seems I’m in a continual impair. 

Masturbation has lost its delight; self exaltation lends itself to pure blight.  A demon in the hall calls my name; I render myself to him – there is no one left to blame.  This thing is taking me apart; will there ever be a cure for my bleeding heart? 

A monster I become at night; monstrous fucken reminder that slumbers at morning’s light.  Have forgotten the taste of my tears; this insanity has caused me to lose my fears.  Embrace has lost its touch; this loss has made drugs my ever-lasting crutch!  Looking back I see that boy who has no sight; because of this reason my days have become slight. 

Nights-a-reaching, I’m starting to Scare Myself...

Nights-a-reaching, he’s starting to scare himself!

Back then I couldn’t do the things I do now; seems to my childhood I must scream – ciao!  Have always wanted something I could never have; will someone give me what I can’t ever have?

The ringing in my ears drives me insane; the screaming in my ears makes me Able’s Cain!  Love always was the one to show me how; back then I didn’t know how to give it its endow.  In this place I’ve grown to such a state of shame; it seems to be the place where I grow forever lame!  Self pleasuring has taken over my body; thus the reason for my glorious disembody. 

Starting to Scare Myself...

Preparing to be myself.

You always were the one to show me where?  With you dear Satan I wish I’d never had an affair!

Here alone I stand... scaring myself!

Here am I; always scaring thyself!

SWAMPS OF HAPPINESS

Walking aimlessly around this swamp; my good intentions have paved my way toward hell.  Merchants line themselves up; for me they have nothing left to sale.  Credit is consumed by my vices; should’ve thought twice before casting those dices.  My gamble is my pain; forever I shall walk these swamps of happiness.  This shamble pace drives me insane; can’t help but subdue myself to ghastliness.

Living with my heart out of my chest sends me into epileptic convulsions.  Will I die like all the rest; like those lead by their heart’s compulsions?  My good doings have left me dry and high.  Evil dealings have brought back to my lips a sigh.  Can someone help me see out of these walls?  Can someone silence the lunatic’s screams in the halls!

Silence sends me to the grave; I scratch at my skin till it bleeds.  Do not intend to act brave; who was the one to sowed these wicked seeds?

The smile upon my face is a mask; the emptiness in my eyes reflects swamps of happiness.  The miles that I walk are a task; tired of singing this song of loneliness. 

For you I pursue this life; for you... only for you -- for you can subdue this knife; that’s there for you... only there for you.  Skin comes apart as this blade runs across my vein; tell me, is this bleeding heart shed for you in vain?  Still, your words daily condemn me to walk the swamps of happiness.  Your unspoken and much forsaken love reveals to me your evil horridness.  Clenched hands I raise to the skies; for from my birth, me God has despised!  Continually my joy He denies; my rivers of shame He never dries!  His hate for me I fully surmise; to me there shall not come a single surprise – for in the day of recompense, my disgust of life I will not disguise.

Swamps of happiness I must walk alone; for you... for you.

Swamps of sadness I will condone; for you... for you.

Swamps of loneliness I must continue to intone; for you... for you...

SWAMPS OF SADNESS

Mud thickens under my feet as I trot the road of despair.  Hear the howling of a boy from the distance.  Running in circles my lungs run out of air; the cries ring loud in my ears of his need of assistance.  Vipers surround me all around; they shoot venom out their mouth as they whip me with accusations.  Faces so demonic keep me from making a-sound; purposely wanting to keep me from my destination – from the boy in severe agitation.

Remembering a similar whimper in my past I cannot help weep for the crying boy.  Obvious innocence is stolen as the anguish travels along the swamps of sadness.  Will God this day, for once this day His Angels deploy; for terror approaches fast preparing to instill it’s everlasting blackness.

Oh God how many will you allow to die in the swamps of sadness?  Do you stare from your throne and watch the evil and the madness?  Will you oh HIGH AND MIGHTY, ever come and save from wretched men that take and never ask?  Or would we have better luck taking another swig off our flask?  Sickening to my stomach are those YOU send proclaiming justice; yet these preachers and priest only wear her as a condescending mask.

Swamps of Sadness troubles my soul...

Swamps of Sadness doubles my toll...

Boy still weeps in the distance all alone.  Approaching him what I see I cannot condone!

A mirror stands in front of me; shivers travel up my spine as I notice that I am he!  It was I that cried in the swamp disowned; the boy condemned to never know what it’s like to be grown or atoned.  From the other side of this lonely place I make my home I hear another sob; sprinting I know in fear that yet another mirror for me will await.  There is no doubt another piece of my soul they will rob; yet you must understand that this chase is a date that has been destined by fate.  

Just a boy am he; a boy running up and down the swamps of sadness.

Just a boy am me; a boy shunning his manhood, trapped in the everlasting swamps of sadness.

WINTER JOYS

This cold weather in my chest sits and lingers as voices in my head mingle.  They shout like crazy singers eating at my brain; nothing pretty is their jingle.  My lunacy is driving me mad these days.  The NEW MOON plays tricks with your mind “she said.”  My MUSE is an incarcerating craze; to the NEW MOON I swore my due credit was paid!

My mental breakdown is my best friend tonight.  His caress and touch allows me to have foresight!  Still, within this cold my soul shakes with terror and fright.  Nothing seems to bring the winter joys – the rays of light.  There are lambs that rise up like lions with might; nevertheless this leopard writer cannot find the will to be a shining Knight.

Winter Joys elude my every pace.  Winter Joys delude my very race!  The boy lost inside of me cries for a life abandoned and destroyed.  The boy inside of me kills the man I’m supposed to be; I stand devoid.  He’s become the wild tiger I have come to know; the only one I can’t avoid.  His strength over me is one I have so easily employed.  Yet, do not be fooled when I say his presence is sinfully enjoyed.  He possesses my soul; his every demand lacks absolutely no void.  Crying I admit I need help; can someone resurrect for me Sigmund Freud.

God dammed is those who like me never see their Winter Joys.  Cursed are we who for the pleasures of readers must suffer the devils noise!  Like pawns, for our poetry and words we readily offer our poise.  The boy in me wants to play; beware my readers for you’ll all become his slaving toys! 

Winter Joys have been stolen from me!  Winter Joys are here... never to be!  Under shady trees you deceive yourselves thinking that Winter Joys will be given to thee.  How naïve has thou become my foolish lunatic; BANISHED FOREVER shall be your decree!  There shall be no level of mercy; none shall survive my words by any degree.  Once I’m gone there will be dancing in the streets; “for the poet in his death shall set us free.” 

Fuck you to all those who stood and watched me burned like Joan of Arc!  Perpetually shall my writs come and make your days sour and dark.  My scripts shall you where on your foreheads like the devils mark; for you there shall be no Noah’s Ark.  Winter Joys are here to mock; I do not lie my flock, believe me when I say you have all been added to the stock.

WINTER BLUES

Snow falls tonight on these winter blues; covered in white I stand without you.  My lips are frost; still you don’t appear with your sexy accost.  Till when will I live on my own?  Am I like Elvis, forever without a love of my own!  These winter blues make my eyes death.  Will someone please revive me with some meth; at least this way I’ll keep my breath.  Can still remember my days with Ana Seth; oh God or was it Any McBeth?  Either way they were never as nice as good ole Beth...

Standing alone I die with my winter blues.

Standing alone I curse these winter blues.

My cries can no longer reach the heavens these days; the holies have shut their ears to you... a drunker says.  He laughs at me as he grips his bottle of scotch!  Perhaps if I ask for a sip it’ll bring this meth down a notch!!!

Been called the dreamer of the night; for I walk alone, without a lover in sight.  Yes they are right; for a dreamer I truly am... and for them I’ll always fight.  Unlike my winter blues, my dreams give me strength and might – a modern day Superman, ready to leap tall buildings in a single flight.  No wait, I think it’s in a single bound!  Though it’s known my only leaps these days take me straight to the ground!

Somebody is all I want; yet she insists on running from my presence.  Wish she would take this jaunt; forever our hands together held in love’s pure essence.  Existing without her is torture; without her to call mine, the winter blues become my scorcher.

Will she come and heal my winter blues?

Will she kiss me and melt away my winter blues?

Like Elvis, I’ll live without a love of my own; dying away in these bitter cold winter blues.

AM THE ONE

So hard it is to walk this world alone; my lunacy is what I would like someone to condone.  Days and nights meet with the passing of time; sun greets the moon as it exits its shift.  Its rays slowly dance away like a mime; never complaining from its due drift.  Moon softly glistens on a beach whispering its loneliness amoung the stars.  Stars gently weep wishing they belonged to their long lost Mars; here I stand wishing, wondering if I am the one.  Yet my life inevitably has come undone.

Please disregard my outbreaks and explosions; my screaming and beatings only show my ignored emotions.  Can I be him?  Should I be slim? 

If you would love me with your heart, you would know I am the one.  If you would care for me with your soul, you would know that you’d won.  At the end of it all you would understand that with me you would be Alice in wonderland! 

Am I the one?

Why do you procrastinate accepting your own happiness?  Why do you instigate such a life of nastiness?  Still, you deny me knowing I am the one.  Still, you defy me knowing I am the Sun.

Am I your one?

How long will you run from me knowing who I am?  How can you compare me to them; knowing very well that I am your gem?

Your body I will love passionately; your soul I will comfort gratefully – most of all I will eternally be thankfully... yours.  Come to me and let me be he; for I know that I am the one.  Come, for forever we shall be; knowing that together we will become one. 

Will you listen to me, even if I may sound perverted?  Will you stay with me, even if I won’t be converted?  Will you walk away and leave me deserted - or shall we embrace and live concerted?

Am I the one?

Yer... I am the one.

NOT THE ONE

You keep going round and round; perhaps a roller coaster is what you want.  Masochist crying makes a sound; loving my torturing hands that haunt.  Never was the one you were looking for, tried and tried to show the monster that I am.  Your heart beaten and soar still aches for me... damn!

Not the one... I’m not the one who was.

Not the one... I’m not the one who has.

You keep taking all the heat; all along my song never played a joyful tune.  You’re the one I like to beat; still through all this you love your goon. 

Round and round we go... tell me this isn’t so!

You stupid bitch can’t you see I’m not the one to be.  The demon in me is who I’m meant to be!  Still you pursue and fight; God will she ever gain her fucken sight?  It was always clear to you my dear; the devil with his fury has come near!  Run and run you never do; one day you’ll scream and want to sue. 

Not the one... you won’t break me in.

Not the one... my soul is full of sin.

Your face disgusts me to death; would you finally smile and kill me please!  May the ripper come and take my breath; let him hold my neck and squeeze!

Not the one coming back for more!

Not the one... your love makes me sore!

You always try to tie me down; little do you know in the end you’ll be the one to frown.  Perhaps in my evil you’ll choke and drown!  It’ll be you wearing the gown; you’re a stupid sappy dumbass clown!

Not the one... I’ll never get on my knees!

Not the one... forever you’ll die in pleas!