WITHOUT YOU

 

A lifetime I have had to spend without you;
though you think not, this has left me in total goo.
Many are the nights I fall ill, prostrated in spew;
you are the reason I stand dead... stand slew.

Without you I have had to manage on my own;

my feelings and thoughts are all owned to loan.

In debt you have left me to roam, in hurt and moan;

still, you stand prideful in your deceitful golden thrown.

 

It’s okay, I have survived without you;

even though I feel alone, cold and blue.

 

A stone you wrapped around my neck;

as a ship I was destined to be a wreck.

Drowning you saw me – didn’t care a speck;

one day on you, life will pass this check.

 Without you...

Without a clew.

 Laugh now while you efen can -- bastard;
for you think time you've mastered.
but trust me dad, one day you'll end up plastered!

 

The day will come when you’ll scream “WITHOUT YOU”

too late it will be – for by then I've already flew.

 

 

 



sometimes i wish

 

Sometimes I wish you could understand,

it was not right that I was banned,

or like a animal forced to be brand;

crying he has made me leave my land.

 

When in you there was nothing left to trust;

remember that mom was always the one he’d thrust.

I won’t deny that at times I did combust,

but believe it was not meant to break your trust.

 

I swear SOMETIMES I WISH...

that times didn’t squeeze and squish!

 

There shouldn’t be a reason for all this pain;

my God, at times I feel like I will go insane!

He is the reason I could not abstain;

he always meant to take -- the one to drain!

 

SOMETIMES I WISH...

broken wasn’t this dish.

 

Trust me though, I love you so.

All my life I slaved to sew...

to see in you the will to grow.

 

Sometimes I wish... I was there with you;

and for this I feel sad and blue.

 

Sometimes I wish you could see me now

so that the joy in me may lift your brow.

If this you do not understand... this I vow;

to you my kids... I will always bow.

 

Sometimes I wish...

 Sometimes I wish...

 



MISS AGONY

 

Please call my dear Miss Agony;

for the night seems foggy from my balcony.

Around me there is fear and dark;

as I am caught up in my days of lark.

 

Today, worse I feel from being alone;

the pain makes me scream and groan.

Last night I felt so cold -- ashamed;

looking back, I see I am the blamed.

 

Tell me, is Miss Agony standing here?

for suddenly I feel scared to disappear.

Tell me, has Miss Agony finally arrived;

for strong is the sense of my deprived.

 

Left I am abandoned... feeling soggy.

 

Left I am alone – so efen foggy.

 

Seems to me dear Miss Agony has left;

for at peace I stand looking down this cleft.

Once I screamed “with you I will go”;

seems those days were never meant to be so.

 

Oh Miss Agony how I hate your fate;

for in you I have learned... love to hate.

 

 

 



TILL NOTHING ELSE AWAITS

 

Like a fire in me, I want to see your face shine down on me;

I want to see the man that you can build me up to be.

 

Here, in this nothingness I will stand till nothing else awaits; I will wallow in the mire till gone I see are all the dates.  Till nothing else is left... till nothing else awaits.

 

Shine your light on me and bring me up from death;

for to you I look to live in perfect love and health. 

All gold and silver for you I will give – all my wealth. 

Amoung our enemies I will continue to move with faultless stealth.

 

Alone I sit in the dark; only the voices in the hall are heard.

Admit I will, from time to time my sight has been blurred.

Wine has made my words hard to understand... so slurred.

Yet, at the end – you always remain to me the final word.

 

For you to shine I’ll wait till nothing else awaits.

Sent to hell I’ll be if you don’t come while I wait.

 

The picture finally fades like the fire in me;

Structure crumbles... as I am not what I should be.

 

Come, come before I stand alone... waiting till nothing else awaits.

 

 



MY

My is the world when I think of her;

when she looks at me I am in blur.

Her incense to me smells like myrrh.

at her side I forget what I were.

 

My girl waits for me in tender times;

forgotten in minds are my savage crimes.

Blissful angels are heard with chimes;

never will she ever sell out for dimes.

 

My, is the world when I think of her;

she is, will always be who I prefer.

Like a cat by her side I’ll always purr;

poisoned I am by her sweet luscious liqueur.

 

Her kisses bring the slurs and rhymes;

senses are dull as I continue to climb.

Break free I often think sometimes;

then, I notice -- gone are the white lines!

 

 



DAILY RACES

Should I feel like every child does; or is it just a myth - a buzz? Must be honest, this life seems more like a daily race; can't remember the last time I had an embrace. All I see are worn out faces; familiar place -- places that bring nothing but pain and hurt; places that leave me lying in the dead on the dirt. Going nowhere I find my life fighting the daily races; I'm left tired and without traces.

Since the day I was born I've been waiting for a day to feel good; the pain that was to be is what I've never understood.

Yet I run in these daily races.

I imagine there are other cases...

Others must be out there crying; there must be others out there dying. Just like me they wake to a sun that darkens; a sky that is void of heavens. How sad it is to run in these daily races; we are left with no room -- no spaces!

Bright and early I must prepare for the track; my soul must be found without want or lack. Those found in need die an easy death; suffering you see them spew their last breath. Me, I am found fighting this evil fight; from me far is salvation and the light.

Help me oh God, for I hate the daily races!

Help me oh God, for the future is nothing but erases!

For many years I've drowned my sorrows; Indians stand at the gap shooting arrows! Help oh God, for to whom will I call? They dine upon my flesh as if I was Saul.

Daily races...

No embraces.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Why do I feel this bad again;

why does it feel as if I’m the one to-slain?

Has time looked down upon me with a frown;

will I one day sing and laugh like a clown?

Staring at the hand dealt to me I must admit its rough;

as I play my cards it seems that love does call my bluff.

Yet, I find in me the will to give and always share a smile;

though I didn’t know it as a youth,

these violent times sowed in me a certain sense of style. 

Many came bearing gifts saying how they loved me;

nevertheless time shows how they’re never meant to be.

Surely I have dreamed of one day hearing the words we...

from the guy who’s unquestionably destined as my love – my he.

At times love may come with a knife;

dark days may try to fill with strife,

nonetheless I know that in this life

I shall one day be loved as a wife.

Today the skies are filled with darkness;

nights sing out their chorus rain.

There is no doubt that this will end with abruptness;

subsiding inevitably will be the pain.

Alone I stand knowing that all this bad shall pass;

more so smiling I will walk this road with class.

Tonight my heart cries as it sits sad and aching;

tomorrow I shall rise never again the winter breaking!

Alone I stand knowing - for sure this too shall pass.

Always I stand knowing, yes – yes... this too shall pass.